So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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