What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
