I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
