I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
