I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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