I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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