trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
