I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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