We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
