after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
