in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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