Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
