I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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