im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will pee on everything he values.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
