Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
