Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
