I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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