Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
