i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
