I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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