i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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