the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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