Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
