Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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