We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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