I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
