can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
