Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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