i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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