The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
