If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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