I want to have your abortion
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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