We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
