She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
