thus making me awesome and them whores
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
