so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
