margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
