I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
