I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
