I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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