girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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