there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
