OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
