I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
