One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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