yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
