Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
PANTIES FOUND
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
