awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
