She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do vagina's smell?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
