And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize