she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
