i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
