just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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