Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
